Facebook Fury
The last article I wrote for my blog, (http://readin.blivetbag.com/) was about being sober or getting sober. Many say that is the hardest thing they have ever done. And I agree. I am addicted. Simple statement, yes. Not so simple, though. I don’t mean addicted to alcohol or drugs. I mean, if it goes, I go with it. And it becomes me. I followed the alcohol and drug addiction to the mat and beyond. It was killing me and I went through a veritable hell to get away from that.
Facebook is much the same for me, and it was killing me, slowly for sure, but at an even clip. Blood pressure, anxiety, and peace and calm disruptions have become a daily occurrence, and my tendency to deal with that kind of adversity is to egg it on. People bitch at me about what I write, send me stupid links to whatever bullshit they happen to be reading or watching, and turn my insides out to the air. And I egg it on daily, relishing every new comment and notification. It is absurd and pervasive, and similarly stupid as is drinking or slamming heroin in the arm. Just stupid.
And sinister, and just like any other addiction, hard to break. This is my 7th day without even a peek to look. I did not delete my account, I use messenger for business so it’s still active, and before I removed all the Facebook paraphernalia from my phone and my computer, I saw I had more than fifty responses that I would normally go deal with post-haste to either push a little imaginary button to show I liked it or answer the scofflaw with a steaming rebuke for their stupid comment. And make no mistake, the comments 99 percent of the time are as stupid as my post that caused the comment.
Anyway, I’m out for now. I have been extremely happy with my progress. There is little weight on my shoulders, and the only anxiety I have is writing this piece right here. I have turned off the news, I don’t read news, I don’t watch it. I don’t care to know any of it, not the election, not the virus, not the looting, shooting, and whining, BLM, Antifa or anything else. Until it slams me in the head I will ignore it as I have managed to do with all social media for the last week.
And letting that go is so easy and so fucking hard, day by day and sometimes minute by minute is how I deal. But I awarded my self my one week chip this morning and I am savoring that.
